WHEN MELANCHOLY ENGULFS ME
Maybe some of you have gone through moments you don’t want to remember today.
But when melancholy engulfs me, I go back in time and go haunt old moments that fill my thoughts and that sadness that surrounds me.
As I commented before,
in most of my life I was shy and also submissive.
I was when a girl was raised in the strictness of certain behavioral attitudes where everything was ugly to a girl.
Even for a minimum attitude would be considered one without respect,
or dignity and could not be part of the company of other girls.
The threats were as terrible as possible, imagine we weren’t allowed to go out without an adult.
Fear of everything was instilled and it embedded inside the being, so much that after a teenager even when a man approached to ask for information or was a visitor,
he could look up to him
i would have to speak low key
Or if she dared to raise her eyes she would be called a worthless teenager.
Aqual i couldn’t go out to talk to other teenage girls because i would demoralize them too.
- These were the old concepts and no man would choose them to marry!
They were young people banished from society,
some more innocent who dared to go on a Sunday
(these were made for adults and young people supervised by their parents or responsible),
in friends’ homes.
But if there was any if they weren’t barred from entering.
And right there humiliated with words and shortened, with no reason for it to happen!
Once I witnessed such an act, and the parents wouldn’t allow us to listen, we were forced to go to the bedroom of the house and close the door.
We were threatened to be expelled from home or those with a financial situation would have been better sent to a convent. The evicted from home imagine if this happened where they would end up!
This is how we live a childhood and adolescence in huge terrorism.
Just like that after marriages and mother of children we brought these traumas into our lives.
And on some Sundays when it’s for leisure we feel depressed and have no energy to try to get out of this state.
Fear makes a person a weak and totally dependent human being.
It’s very difficult to free yourself, but it’s not impossible if the person has personality.
When I thought and analyzed that this was wrong, I freed myself.
Including other people I helped them get out of the situation imposed on them by creation.
But sometimes melancholy takes our shape
remembering and not recognizing the scent and beauty of flowers, trees, anyway life and nature.
Prepared Angela Kosta writer, poet, essayist, literary critic, editor, translator, journalist
