The Ambush
I learned to grieve in silence,
As much as I learned to love you,
To surrender to your longing and die within it.
A bitter truth set me free:
That your love for me,
In reality,
Was a spider.
My simple dream was to find you,
Carrying my burdens,
Standing tall within my eyes,
My blood flowing through your veins.
I gave my heart to the sunrise,
Only to awaken and find you were a guillotine
In the hands of your own love.
And my love for you,
Was the whole point of the problem.
Your beginning was painful,
Your ending, crafted in deceit,
Cut to fit,
Without prayer.
I used to worship you,
Not even as a pagan to an idol.
I didn’t know the end of my love for you was nothingness,
Lost in regret.
I was like dough,
Shaped by your fingers.
I would find a future blooming
Under your sun, under your shadow,
And I’d forgive my past days
For ever
Having loved you.
Don’t deny I was the only one born
From your sky with two stars,
Two engravings on my forehead,
Perfectly matched.
The sun of dead truth was colored
Between my sincere words and your fake smile.
Your phony lines were created:
Sometimes an angel,
Sometimes destruction,
Sometimes your flaws were an epic poem
You’d tell with feigned innocence.
Your created devil didn’t leave
In the fire of your cruel loneliness.
Between the soft whisper of your voice
Filling an empty time,
I was there,
Remembering you calling him.
My heart was your toy,
You’d try it out.
It was no good except for being sad.
And for years,
When your dream would come to me and then leave,
I’d feel choked.
I’d become like the truth when it’s hanged
In the eyes of the wronged.
And for years,
When you were the cloud for me,
And the thirst in my tongue would howl,
Like wolves
Standing over a feast for the dead,
Waiting to share the meal.
My look was the orphan.
Your look… was the ambush.
